Sunday, January 25, 2009

Reader poll: Which is the better sentence?

The sun lay on the sky like a dollop of marmalade spooned from some ancient jar bottled long ago by a spinster aunt, left for years unopened on the shelf of the basement.

The snow crunched beneath his feet like dried exoskeletons of ten-thousand aphids bleached on the sands of some distant desert.


Please post your vote in the comments.

3 comments:

  1. Trick question. A writer should only trust himself, never polls. The first sentence is better.

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  2. Second sentence. Definitely. Marmelade? No.

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  3. Thanks for the opinion, John. I'm a democrat in politics but in writing I'm a brutal monarch with the ruthlessness of Chinggis Khan.

    ReplyDelete